The Facades of "The player"

You all have Facades,The faces you show of the person you claim to be.
You all have secrets,The Reality behind the facade.
You betray those you call friend,
You hurt those you call Love and You envy those you call foe.
You betray your own words
You claim to have Faith,To be True and Good.
Yet you spread the stories,You take whats not yours,You lie...
You demean words such as Love and Honour
You're Jealous,Greedy and Dishonourable
and Yet still you would have us show support of you
You Hurt others and yet would have us show care when you are hurt
You lie,But would have us care when you are lied to
You do not respect the sanctity of Love and Honour
But would have us respect you..
You are faithless in your faithful facade
You pretend..
To love,To care,To be Faithful and True
So watch now as I pretend to be friend to you.

A strong woman...

A strong woman is one who feels deeply and loves fiercly

Her tears flow just as abundantly as her laughter

A strong woman is both soft and powerful

She is both practical and spiritual

A strong woman in her essence is a gift to the world

“ from the heart of the Diva “

Why do our lives revolve around men...

Why does everything revolve around them? Why do women centre their lives around men and make themselves feel inadequate as if they cannot live without a man being by their side? Women stay in abusive relationships because they feel that they cannot live without a man and they may be too scared of being alone. I’d like to highlight to all females that you don’t necessarily need a man in your life and that you will not wither away if you decide to leave an abusive/toxic relationship. Ladies, YOU are all that YOU need! Everything that comes into your life is supposed to elevate YOU, complement the person that YOU are and help you to become a better YOU. Nothing and no one that enters your life is supposed to change YOU or the things which YOU believe in.

For those of you who have changed because you thought that’s what the man wanted, how soon were you left sobbing and shocked and lost? All because you’ve changed so much that you don’t know who you are anymore and you don’t know how to pick up the pieces. So, stop losing yourself to a man. Men appreciate a woman that has value and virtues; men appreciate a strong and confident woman.

We all go through bad relationships and get ourselves into situations that we shouldn’t have. When you do see and feel that the situation is wrong for you; GET OUT OF IT. You may ponder on the time invested, let go and let loose. No doubt it is going to be difficult but you will get through it because you were not built to break. Stop putting your hopes and faith in a man to define your worth. Hold your head up high and recognise your strength and worth. Recognise your potential and the ability that you have to function as your own individual.

You have probably heard this a zillion times- “Life is what you make it” and it certainly is. CHOOSE YOU! Don’t set yourself back by being afraid of what people are going to think; don’t lose sight of everything that you’ve dreamed of. Circumstances will arise but you won’t break or crumble because your faith and gratitude keeps you alive. So don’t say that you can do bad by yourself, change it to, “I will do good by myself!” You have the ability to light up a room all you need is confidence and a smile. I believe that a smile is the sexiest curve on a woman’s body. So keep smiling no matter the odds. Above all, you are a woman who knows the strength she possesses; after all we were not built to break.


The First rule is to honour yourself!

By honouring yourself and treating yourself with respect, you set the stage up for others to treat you with respect. In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship. There is always another person that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT and believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.

But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have, thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT

But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life. Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring. More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your partner ever did. Think again!!! That's only 20% of what you don't have. Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!

Think about the storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.

The main message??? start appreciating what you HAVE before it becomes what you HAD

The aim of Empowering Women is to help you find ways of re-discovering that powerful being that resides within. Empowering Women has a different focus - which is on what you can do to empower yourself - now, regardless of your present or past circumstances. At any time you choose, you can take the bold step and awaken the Empowered Woman that already exists within you. Every time we rely on someone or something outside of us to provide us with love, success or happiness, we hand our power over. As soon as they don’t provide it we are defeated. Ironically, when we decide to reflect love, success and happiness, we easily attract the right people, events and objects that compliment you.“Some girls don’t realize their worth and some guys don’t realize what they have until it is too late”

How to liberate yourelf: Diva defined....

A diva strides n flexes lightly her footsteps resonate and all who sense the ripples stop n turn around. Her power is her freedom her joy like the wind unstoppable sometimes soft n gentle, sometimes like a hurricane she sweeps you up and far away, Her laughter owns the sky and all is at her mercy, at her touch of wilderness enchantment, vibrant lightning bringing rush of life, wherever it may strike. Her smile as you emerge the chosen one will raise you, a breathless moment immortal in the mirror of her gaze. A Diva is a secure woman who knows who she is, someone who walks in a room and commands attention without speaking. A woman who is confident, taking care of herself and demanding respect, all of this while still looking good. A woman who is not afraid to step out of her comfort zone and pushes her limits to do something different; with confidence, attitude, and moxie!

Tell yourself: “I am a ridiculously attractive and irresistible woman who always has something new and better to bring to the table. You must acknowledge that most of us have just never been taught what truly attracts men and makes them go crazy with desire for you day after day, year, after year. As women we tend to love and forget about all the other important aspects that make us who we are.

“I regret nothing in my life, even my past has not defined me or defeated me, I look back and smile because it made me who I am today... a Diva... Liberated with the world as my oyster ready to discover. Remember, a real man never stops trying to show a woman how much she means to him even after he’s got her heart. In conclusion: “Every woman needs a man that will ruin her lipstick and not her mascara."






Author Carmen Gangerdine
“The Diva”

My Awakening

My Awakening   There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. This is my awakening....

You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :

- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,

Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.

You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.

And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."

And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.

And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.

Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.

You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.

Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.

Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.

You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.

And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself.  So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.

Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

A word about the Power of Prayer: In some of my darkest, most painful and frightening hours, I have prayed, not for the answers to my prayers or for material things, but for my "God" to help me find the strength, confidence and courage to persevere; to face each day and to do what I must do.

Remember this:- You are an expression of the almighty. The spirit of God resides within you and moves through you. Open your heart, speak to that spirit and it will heal and empower you.
My "God" has never failed me.

If a man wants you... nothing can keep him away

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is Don't stay because you think "it will get better" You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.  If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted Never move into his mother's house.  Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts.... Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.